Today has been an emotional day for our little family. Not only are my hormones swinging all over with me experiencing hot flashes every night, but I have also been trying to fully wean myself off the pain killers so I am fully present when I visit with our little man.
Today we went to visit Benton for this 8th day-a-versary. Immediately upon entering the NICU and heading to his bedside I noticed that there had been a change in my little boy. He was wearing yellow ear muffs and new equipment was hooked up to him. I totally had a small freakout as the nurse explained his blood gases had not been promising the night before and therefore they had taken him off the regular ventilator and put him on the jet puff ventilator. This machine would help his lungs breathe easier as it provides 400 puffs of air a minute vs 40 on a normal ventilator. The noise of this machine can be intense so our little man has to wear ear muffs for the foreseeable future while he is on the jet puff machine. In addition, the jet puff will also help his lungs since they are so prone to collapse. It was reassuring to know that they made a change that will benefit Benton, but it definitely felt like we had taken a few steps backwards rather than forwards. The social worker that helps in the NICU had said this could happen... a preemie's progress is not necessarily linear and it can be a few steps forward and then a few steps back for months. While I understood this in theory, the experience of receiving not as positive news regarding my beautiful baby boy was hard for me to take. While Benton's progress report was not as we expected it was still absolutely amazing to spend the afternoon with him. Having my mom and sister there with Joe and I was so reassuring. Their positive energy and my sister's knack for photography makes these visits so lovely.
In the evening, we went back to visit Benton and saw him get his 2nd dose of the ibuprofen for his PDA duct. I also got to change his poopy diaper - a big plus in my book. During our evening visit the nurse also discussed how Benton was having more difficulty regulating his temperature, but that was likely due to him focusing his energy on other aspects of his recovery. The NICU will keep his isolet warm and humid just the way he likes it for as long as he needs. Spending the evening with my beautiful boy is now my favorite activity and seeing my little miracle each day makes that day the best of my life.
Please send prayers for Benton to help his PDA duct close and his blood oxygen levels to improve so he can go back on the regular ventilator.
Today we went to visit Benton for this 8th day-a-versary. Immediately upon entering the NICU and heading to his bedside I noticed that there had been a change in my little boy. He was wearing yellow ear muffs and new equipment was hooked up to him. I totally had a small freakout as the nurse explained his blood gases had not been promising the night before and therefore they had taken him off the regular ventilator and put him on the jet puff ventilator. This machine would help his lungs breathe easier as it provides 400 puffs of air a minute vs 40 on a normal ventilator. The noise of this machine can be intense so our little man has to wear ear muffs for the foreseeable future while he is on the jet puff machine. In addition, the jet puff will also help his lungs since they are so prone to collapse. It was reassuring to know that they made a change that will benefit Benton, but it definitely felt like we had taken a few steps backwards rather than forwards. The social worker that helps in the NICU had said this could happen... a preemie's progress is not necessarily linear and it can be a few steps forward and then a few steps back for months. While I understood this in theory, the experience of receiving not as positive news regarding my beautiful baby boy was hard for me to take. While Benton's progress report was not as we expected it was still absolutely amazing to spend the afternoon with him. Having my mom and sister there with Joe and I was so reassuring. Their positive energy and my sister's knack for photography makes these visits so lovely.
In the evening, we went back to visit Benton and saw him get his 2nd dose of the ibuprofen for his PDA duct. I also got to change his poopy diaper - a big plus in my book. During our evening visit the nurse also discussed how Benton was having more difficulty regulating his temperature, but that was likely due to him focusing his energy on other aspects of his recovery. The NICU will keep his isolet warm and humid just the way he likes it for as long as he needs. Spending the evening with my beautiful boy is now my favorite activity and seeing my little miracle each day makes that day the best of my life.
Please send prayers for Benton to help his PDA duct close and his blood oxygen levels to improve so he can go back on the regular ventilator.
Marika and Joe ~ as I've read all of your posts I've searched for words that could begin to convey how amazed I am at your strength and the strength of tiny Benton. I know you've found the most profound love imaginable for your little boy and marvel at amount of fight your little guy has in him. My God continue to give Benton the will to fight, and may He continue to give you both physical and emotional strength as you continue to fight for Benton. God bless you both.
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