Savoring Each Moment

Every now and then, in the midst of the daily hustle and bustle, I try to stop and reflect on how incredibly lucky I am.  I have two beautiful precocious children, a loving husband who adores us all, the support of family and friends, and a village of therapists/doctors/and specialists that care for every possible need my son could have.  I am blessed many times over.

Yet life has a way of rushing past us...not allowing us to savor each moment....instead they become a blur.  A blur of therapy appointments, daily work schedules, household chores and bouncing from meeting to meeting - assignment to assignment; the drone of putting out the garbage, washing the dishes, cleaning messy faces, and picking up an endless stream of toys strewn about the room.  But, in the midst of all that craziness is what life is all about - the daily joys of parenthood - which is something that if you don't stop and reflect on how miraculous and amazing each day truly is, you could easily take for granted.

So today I decided I wanted to reflect on all the things that amaze me about my sweet babies so that I never forget.  I figured I need to capture these thoughts and memories as babyhood/toddlerhood and honestly even the pre-school years seems to be going by in the blink of an eye.  These days Benton is 3 1/2 and Aurelia is already 15 months - I mean where does the time go?!?!

Don't let me forget...

Don't let me forget the ecstatic and slightly maniacal laugh that Benton makes every time he know he is doing something slightly naughty.  The joy in his eyes and the laughter that seems to jump from the bottom of his belly is something I hope he carries throughout his entire life.  I love how he knows he is doing something slightly naughty (from opening the gate to let his sister climb the stairs to jumping in our bed to running away when its time to potty) and wants you to come and find him so we can laugh together.

Don't let me forget my baby's soft chubby hands as they grip my finger or take my hand in theirs to rub my own face.  Aurelia and Benton have always loved playing with my hands and fingers acting as if they were the maestro and my hand was their instrument.  The little hands that graze my face as I nurse Aurelia to sleep or grab onto my arms to keep me close for just a minute more as she reluctantly lets go to drift off to dreamland.

Don't let me forget each baby's first bites of solids, their first sips of whole milk, and their first successful chews.  Even though both of my babies have had different paths toward solid foods - one more traditional than the other - I hope to never forget the pride and joy on their faces the first time they successfully speared a hotdog slice with a fork, spooned mac and cheese up to their awaiting mouth or took their first bite of ice cream.  Each step with Benton has had its challenges but that makes the reward all the more sweet.  And each challenge with Benton has made me appreciate every milestone with Aurelia even more.

Don't let me forget how each of them loves to be exactly like their mama and daddy.  From Aurelia's morning ritual of tearing apart my makeup drawer as I try to get ready, pretending to put on lipstick with my flavored chapstick and waiting the final spritz of perfume to say we are ready to face the day. To Benton trying on Joe's shoes and hat while running around buck naked before bedtime.  These are moments I treasure and know will be gone before I know it.

Don't let me forget how Benton waves his arms and hands with rampant excitement while watching a thrilling or humorous scene on one of his favorite videos.  While watching Lion Guard, Lion King, Lilo and Stitch, Little Mermaid or any other Disney film, Benton watches with rapt attention and with each exciting scene he jumps excitedly in his chair waving his arms as if to help spur the characters onward in the film's action-filled sequence.

Don't let me forget how Benton's simple hug and kiss for Aurelia could turn into a full out tackle and wrestling match.  Those two's love for eachother runs deep despite their rough housing which poor Aurelia often needs to escape from with a gentle screech or a call for Mommy's help.

Don't let me forget their pride when they successfully sit on the potty and make a pee pee or a poo poo.  Even though Benton has been potty trained for 5 months, each time Benton successfully goes he still gets this wonderfully proud expression and gleeful grin that only lasts a moment but lights up his whole face. Furthermore, Aurelia who is not yet potty trained wants to sit on the potty to be like her brother and proudfully shows me she can do it too!

Don't let me forget my superpowers.  My power to give magic kisses that can soothe the worst oowies, fix anything that is wrong and soothe every fear and worry.  I love when Benton asks me for the magic kisses and then happily announces "All Better" after he has received them.  I love that even when Aurelia is at her most upset she calms when she is hugged in close and slowly stops her hysterical crying in slow jagged breaths until she gently rests her head on my chest.

Don't let me forget how everything around us is of wonder to them...each tree..each bush..each flower.  Digging in the garden, watching helicopters fly overhead, playing in the dirt, finding a random stick, hugging a tree - each experience is new and brings joy and wonderment from both of my adorable kiddos.  I love how they like to point out each new item gently asking for clues as to its name and the reason for its existence.

Don't let me forget the joyous and infectious laughter that springs forth from Aurelia with each tickle. I love blowing raspberries on her belly and seeing her scrounch up her face in joyous laughter that emanates deep within her belly.  Her happiness is like a sunbeam radiating from her eyes and mouth.  That joy continues during marathon sessions of tracing "Going on a treasure hunt" on her and Benton's backs to the sound of neverending giggles.

Don't let me forget the latenight nursing sessions in the early months of Aurelia's infancy when the glow from our streetlamp would gently illuminate her perfect little face with its button nose.  Her insistent suckling giving way to long languid feeds that would end with the heaviness of her drowsy head dozing off in the crook of my arm.

Don't let me forget the excitement surrounding our nightly baths with yells of "Tubby, Tubby" echoed by both Aurelia and Benton.  Their little bodies so excited to hit the water that they would be climbing over the tub's walls clothes and all.  Aurelia would be trying to use the wash cloths to wash her face while Benton would use our tugboat pail to dump water on poor unassuming Aurelia.  Each bath ending with Benton's insistent words dictating which animal towel he would get and which would be Aurelia's.  PS. Benton would get the giraffe or frog while Aurelia got the ladybug or lobster. Their freshly bathed bodies wrapped in fluffy towels as we scooted them into bedrooms for pajamas and prayers. 

Don't let me forget the way it seems that both babies fit perfectly against my body.  Benton facing me with his arms wrapped around my neck and his legs clinging to me like a little monkey and Aurelia sitting perfectly on the curve of my hip.  Each one fits so perfectly and yet so differently.  

Don't let me forget how they yell "Mommy" when I arrive home from work and can't wait to be picked up and covered in kisses.  I love how Benton greets me with an ecstatic "Mommy" and then proceeds to try and pull me by my hand to get me to focus on whatever he cares about that day.  I love how Aurelia will yell "Dadda" even though she knows its mommy because she thinks that is the greeting you say when someone comes home :) and then immediately starts pulling on my shirt so she can nurse.

Don't let me forget the way each one pronounces certain words or phrases with their own inflection and creativity.  Aurelia loves to say "Crackoo" for cracker and Benton loves to softly sing "You are my sunshine" to me when he thinks I am mad or upset with him.  Benton's cheerful, spontaneous and impromtu singing bring me great bliss.  For a boy they weren't sure would be able to talk his exhuberant singing is a vision.

Don't let me forget their rhythm and first attempts at dancing.  After the methodical mimicry of nursery rhymes with "Wheels on the bus" and "Heads shoulders knees and toes" both kids have started to show some of their own original dance moves.  Aurelia loves to hold out one foot in a semi ballerina / line dance cowgirl move and then shake her arms wildly.  Meanwhile Benton likes to bop up and down and sway side to side.  These moves can be seen in our kitchen with dinner dance parties that end with fun-filled laughter. 

Don't let me forget every first - first steps, first words, first smiles, first laughs, first claps, first rolls, first foods, first waves and first hugs.  I hope that each first will never be forgotten as we know how precious each first truly is.  When you aren't sure of your baby's outcome in life you can't take anything for granted and each first is just proof that God's love is all around us - whether it be in the blessings that allow Benton to be here today or in the blessings that allowed Aurelia to be born healthy.  Each first is something to be treasured.

And finally don’t let me forget the way everything seems to glow as we lay in bed together on lazy mornings before coffee, before waffles. While they roll around with each other and giggle and squeal, I watch them, tiredly, proudly, gratefully, wondering by what stroke of luck these two were chosen to be mine.

As a a wise woman wrote:

"Don’t let me forget their littleness. Because sometimes, that littleness is what makes me wish they would just grow up faster, sleep for longer, be more independent, give me more personal space, give me some freedom and let me just do what I want to do, for once.  But it is that littleness–that precious, fleeting littleness–for which I will one day ache and yearn and desperately, dearly miss.  So while I have it now, let me bask in it that little bit longer, breathe them in that little bit deeper and hold onto them that little bit tighter, because who knows how quickly this sweet, sweet littleness will pass."

Don’t let me forget.